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Alex Hillman Podcasts Episode 17: Sex and Work

Adam Teterus sat with Dr. Lee, an educator in human sexuality and relationships to talk about how relationships impact the workplace.  Sexuality touches on every facet of our lives. It affects our experience as social beings and may determine what access we have to certain resources, opportunities, etc.  


We have a perception of work relationships being strictly goal oriented.  However, the relationships we build with others have the possibility to be one of our greatest sources of strength.  Human resources can be the most valuable asset in our career path. We can benefit from the knowledge and skills only other people can provide us with.


There is a certain degree of health that comes with keeping work life separate from personal life.  There needs to be some delineation between the two. The best work comes when you are able to separate for a little.  You need some time to yourself to recuperate. When you get to be completely unplugged, you have time to rejuvenate as opposed to when you are constantly working.


All behaviors are ego motivated.  What happens when ego flares up is not always because someone thinks they are super great.  In fact, most times, it is the opposite. Ego is usually an act of defensiveness. This can come in the form of jealousy, insecurity, inferiority, etc.  It is helpful to understand which one of these is affecting your ego because it is an opportunity to reflect on yourself. Knowing why you are feeling a certain way is crucial.  Conflict resolution relies a lot on people having to look in themselves for why they are reacting a certain way.

If you approach something from a place of trying to foster a better work environment, it creates an opportunity for a good relationship.  Rather than bottling emotions up then exploding all at once, you should find a way to effectively communicate them. It is better not to hold it in.  Sharing is essential because it allows you to know where the other person is at mentally and emotionally. This applies to every kind of relationship, not just work.

Positive Reinforcement

Power of positive reinforcement is much greater than any reinforcement rooted in negativity.  If we only give feedback when it is not good, no good behavior or relationship will formulate.  Instead, the other person will come to associate you with negativity. Positive reinforcement can be small, token gestures that demonstrate appreciation for little things.  Simply having an awareness for what is being done well can help.


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